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A day at Acme Corp
I spent a day at Acme Corp recently... you know, the multinational company that makes all the supplies for Wile E. Coyote and other avid inventors. (Hey, I figure it's more interesting than "all names and details have been vastly changed" etc. :)
Anyway. Acme had a problem: research showed that their website was completely, unforgivably, disastrously hard to use for their customers. And ugly, on top of that, as if it was spat from a template circa 1996.
So I sat down with the executives, everyone with a stake in the online presence, to help them improve the business metrics by improving their website.
Here's an excerpt of the meeting transcript, more or less.
Me: One thing customers complained about was the home page navigation. To quote one customer we talked to, "I can't figure this thing out and I'm leaving right now." I think it had something to do with the flaming chainsaw animation that follows the mouse pointer around the screen. Is it possible we could remove that?
VP Marketing: Oh right, the flaming chainsaw animation. I'd love to take that off the site, really I would, but I just think it's so neat, and besides it aligns with our brand message of innovation here at Acme.
Me: But customers would shop more, and buy more, if it wasn't there. Wouldn't you like to reconsider that animation?
VP Marketing: Here in Marketing we have to adhere to our brand guidelines, and innovation is central to that, so I'm afraid the animation has to stay.
Me: OK - next up is the customer complaint about the 18-level-deep flying dynamic navigation sub-menus. Several customers said all the menus zipping around the screen made them dizzy.
VP Technology: I know what you're referring to. That menu system took our technology team six months to code up, and I have to say it's the most advanced implementation I've ever seen, really an awesome job.
Me: The technology is impressive, for sure... I mean, I've never seen 18 nested levels all flying in unison like that.
VP Technology: Thanks, man.
Me: Uhh - sure thing. But I'd just like to push back a little on this - the customers did say that the menus were confusing. How about a simpler menu, maybe just a few links to the top-level categories, and that's it?
VP Technology: Listen, I'm all for simplicity and ease-of-use and all that, I hear you. I really get it. But I have to tell you, Web technology is moving fast, and if we don't keep up, we're going to look like Google or something. A bunch of blue links. Borrring.
Me: Allllright. Now we've covered the flaming chainsaw and the flying menus, let's move on to the logo graphic. Some customers complained that they didn't want to scroll down a full page just to get past the logo, the large stock photos, and the slogan.
VP Branding: What did they say about the color scheme? I'm just wondering, because the green and fuscia palette is really supposed to, you know, bring forth assocations of innovation and holistic thinking, all while blending in with the flames from the chainsaw.
Me: I think I have a plane to catch. (Exit conference door right)
I feel your pain. Been there several times. Knowing when to exit stage right seems to be one of the more important tools in a creative person's toolbox.
Deep thought:
No one ever says they want to make a frustrating, difficult website.
But frequently, under the banner of “branding”, organizations do exactly this.
Here's another classic example. So the brand becomes frustrating, difficult, dated, and flaming chainsaws. Awesome!
Thanks for sharing this, I could not stop laughing :)
These are hilarious examples of individuals being enamored with their own work (the trees) and missing the overall objective (the forest). This scenario is certainly applicable across many differing disciplines. And I agree with Noah, knowing when to bail is important. Thanks, Mark!
Been there, done that! I'm amazed at the number of companies whose customer satisfaction motto is "We're not happy 'till you're not happy"
A cathartic read - thank you!
I think I work at Acme. This sounds just like our marketing department.
They don't look like the kind of Acme that'd buy the accessibility argument, either.
Tell 'em how those flaming menus and such will make it harder for the page to use if partially loaded or on a text/voice browser, and they'd just say "Maybe the user should get eyesight, then" or such. *shivers*
Oh, I thought I was the only one who attracted these customers. Good to know I am not! It is about the Customer Experience, not the VP of Marketing or the VP of Engineering. Thanks for sharing.
Are you sitting down...? Righty then: - Since the dawn of time, mankind has created and used evermore advanced tools. The more sophisticated the tool, the better at certain tasks... and the greater the likelihood that someone will use it wrong (sort of like beating in nails with a spanner or something, y'know?).
The computer, and by extension the internet, is one of the most sophisticated tools yet, at least that is widely used (like, outside of laboratories at NASA), and I think it stands to reason that most uses of these tools are wrong - when held up next to the task they were brought in to solve and the conditions present.
I guess the trick is getting someone like Acme to see that the way they use their website is the equivalent of having a clerk at a regular (non-web) shop running after the customer, pushing her with a dead turtle on a stick while shouting gibberish on a bullhorn, and the store itself is a maze built out of last year's ad billboards, mortared together with silly putty. The goods they should be selling are kept in a locked dungeon under the park across town.
They'd never allow that, of course - so why do they encourage it online?
It's easy to make things hard but hard to make things easy. Some things never change.
Dead on! Sitting in a Chili's in the Charlotte Airport and had several stares at my chuckles. :0
So many business people seem unaware that they don't control the online space - users do. They don't achieve their online outcomes - users do. My credo since 2000 has been simple: Beware the user agenda.
Hi Mark. This post made me go back and re-read an article from the latest issue of Fast Company. Have you seen/heard "Behind the Rebranding Campaign of Wal-Mart’s Scarlet Woman" (http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/137/the-scarlet-woman-of-bentonville.html).
Julie Roehm makes a statement in the FC article that people THINK they want change but they never really do. I've run into this a LOT.
Do you have a comment about companies saying they want change but not really wanting to go through the adjustment? Not just ACME Co. But from a more "macro" perspective?
We've all been there :)
All you can do is suggest alternative approaches and do some A/B multivariate testing. If the client doesn't want to listen (or listens but isn't open to new ideas), then find something smaller - something they see as less risky to the bottom line or brand - but make sure its something they disagree with you on, and then test it.
When the tests come back showing the positive impact of the changes you proposed (and that they resisted), it should begin to open their minds to successively larger changes.
But yes, it can feel soul destroying when you think you can help improve something and your clients won't let you :)
As the VP of online business at a national firm, this sounds a lot like the meetings I go into each month with the managers team.
Why is it that some people don't get it: if you make the customer happy you'll get more money.
@Mike - Stewart Anderson's comment is a pretty good answer to that question. Start small. If they don't even want to start small, exit conference room door right :)
You wonder why they called you to begin with, if they don't even want to start small...sympathetic validation that what they've done *should* be working?
Brilliant, inspired and hilarious. Priceless inventiveness. Thanks for the belly laughs.
I've had a client meetings like this before... For one customer we found that until they attended a customer focus group and saw first hand the customer's frustration they simply didnt' get it.
Wow. That has to be frustrating.
Congrats to you for sticking to your guns.
It's a shame they couldn't be persuaded to see the light.
Although, relieving stupid people of the burden of their money also provides a certain satisfaction.
Right now, I'm trying to get a client to put up some pages that will capture some of the local search traffic, and what does he want to do? "Let's put up a 45-second video that the customer has to watch, that shows how great we are." Because it's such a high barrier to entry that a customer would never click away to your competitor after being mistreated.
Great article! In one way a shame for progress that we're all having the same frustrations but good to know we're all still looking for a way forward. We should never get worn down by these meetings - progress may be slow but we are hopefully making small steps. The big steps are obviously the most rewarding and as marketers we can prove the things we do, how they add value, improve customer experience and as Mr Anonymous says the result is "customers will spend more". Keep it up!!