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In praise of emptiness: today's NYT on how summer camp used to let kids do nothing.
What does it do to a young mind when every minute of the day (month, year, life) is scheduled? Emptiness is increasingly valuable, it seems.
See also: More columns on bit literacy
I wonder how many other parents of my generation (mid-50's with a 22 year old son) held out against the play-group mentality and let our kids run as free (or almost) as I remember being as a child?
I'm not sure how much of it was intentional and how much sheer laziness. I've always treasured my time alone, and having to plan all his free time and run him hither and yon interfered with that.
I'm quite pleased with how he turned out, by the way ;-)
This year my twin sons-aged 15-did not want to return to their scheduled camp-dom; all they wanted to do was to "veg" out. So we agreed to let them work for a month, then relax on their own with nothing planned whatsoever!There are a few camps who have avoided the cornucopia approach to camp electives but you have to search hard for them.
We are all over scheduled and have overwhelming to do lists (notice I said "lists"). Not sure when the shift occured but it used to be the "work" of children to play. It is through play that we learn our likes/dislikes, how to express ourselves, how to agree and disagree, how to plan, etc. Common Good, http://commongood.org/f-vop.html, has a play initiative that seeks to protect and restore play and recreational opportunities to American life. Check it out.
I grew up at a summer camp - mom and dad ran the place - so I had a great childhood. My 8-year old son is booked half the summer (by grandma) for camps: art, animals, swimming, basketball... But he plays a LOT otherwise and I encourage him. My 16 year old son goofs off a lot. Half the time I wish he were working so he could learn about that - making money, dealing with bosses, etc., because it'll come up eventually. But half of me secretly admires his current lack of ambition. His time goes into pal-ling around with his buddies, riding bikes (15-20 miles a day 'everywhere' as he puts it), watching goofy videos online, playing with his new bass guitar now and then...I envy him, that's for damn sure. No doubt he'll grow up and mature when he needs to...he's a good kid now, I'm not worried about where he'll end up.
I think parents tend to freak out that they're not giving their kids enough chances at a 'great life,' whatever that is (travel? wealth? 5 careers? terrific marriage?)... are they projecting their regrets onto their kids?
Hey, kids will be who they are supposed to be...with or without our interference.